When is it Time?
Pain Signs
Signs of pain in pets can vary from one species to the next and indeed in each individual animal. Just as with people, some are very expressive while others are very stoic.
Some animals may stop eating and this is a clear sign it is time. However, many animals will eat right up to their passing. Also, the amount and gusto with which they eat can help you decide if they are hurting or not enjoying life.
Joint pain can cause animals to not move around as much. In dogs, this can mean they are slow to rise or walk. Cats may simply find a place to hide, stop grooming, or stop jumping up on things.
Pets may become less interactive and play less. If they are in pain, they may even snap at humans when they never have before.
Quality of Life
Sometimes a pet can go downhill very quickly and it is easier to recognize that they are not enjoying their life. However, as an animal ages, they often only gradually decline and it can be very difficult to tell our furry friend is in pain or unhappy.
In these cases, it becomes a very personal decision as to when to let them go. Some families cannot intensely care for an aging pet due to time concerns. Others have safety issues due to the presence of small children and other pets when, in some cases, aging pets can become aggressive. Financial burdens are also a very real limit and all of these and more are reasonable considerations in making this difficult choice.
Some will choose to euthanize earlier in the aging or disease process than others. When your pet isn’t eating, using the restroom well, isn’t playing, isn’t enjoying life - quality of life is at risk. As long as the decision is made when the pet is beginning to decline in quality of life, then it is a kind decision made out of respect for your loved one to let them go with dignity.
Dealing with Guilt
Guilt over euthanasia of a pet can take a couple of forms.
People can feel they waited too long, especially if the pet passes on their own. If you are reading this, you are concerned enough about your baby to know you were at least looking into giving them comfort. Often times, pets will decline quickly and pass before anyone is able to see them. No matter what state they are in when I see a patient in-home, I know they have a loving family that just wants the best for them at the end. Wanting to keep your loved one with you for as long as possible is completely understandable, but remember to consider the pain and discomfort they are feeling as well, and act accordingly.
Another form of guilt may come from making the decision too early. Could you have done more? Tried other treatments? Waited longer? I try to mitigate this by doing my own quality of life assessment for each pet I see. I have no interest in euthanizing animals that could still have good, comfortable time with their families. If we come to the decision together that this is the right time, rest assured, I would be making the same decision for my own pet in that position.
There is also a unique form of guilt/grief called ‘anticipatory grief’, once the decision is made. It is the wait between the decision and the day of euthanasia, and can feel terrible. This does not mean it is a bad decision, only that you are already mourning the loss of a dear loved one. Doing bucket list activities and spoiling your baby is a good way to refocus on them and their comfort and happiness so you both have good memories of the end.
Despite knowing your pet’s passing will or may happen, the human heart is emotional. Finding an end-of-life support group for pet loss before the euthanasia takes place can mean you know exactly where to go, should you need it after the fact.